Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
