you're like a bully in the Christmas story
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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