my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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