well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
