I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
