I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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