I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
