Duck Duck Cougar?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize