hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
