some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize