I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
