You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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