Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm both gender and math confused
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
