Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
