His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
