My nipple is on Facebook.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
