i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
