She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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