I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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