he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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