It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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