Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Terrible idea I love it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
