My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize