awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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