They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
