If i come over, it means nothing
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
