Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
