Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
