Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
