The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
