READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
