I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
