You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
