How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
