He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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