I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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