There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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