Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
