Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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