you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
