SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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