Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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