I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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