ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
COCAINE IS GR8
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
