Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His nipple licking is glorious
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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