i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
