I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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