i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
