It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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