i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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