see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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