I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
