whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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