There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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