so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
