Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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