is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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