Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
