he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
