We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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