I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
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You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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