Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what day is it and did you see me today?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
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He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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