we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
being pregnant is like rehab
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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